Navi's Final Battle
by A Benevolent Wind
Summary: It's what every Zelda fan has always fantasized about... Navi's not-so-untimely death!!! PG for minor language


Andi's standard rant before everything she writes -  
  
So, I'm Andi, and I've been a fanfic writer for about... four years... starting with a good ole-fashioned one-chapter HP mary-sue story... :::grins:::  
  
Personally, I've always had an affinity for the angsty zelda stories, but I never seem to get beyond writing more than three chapters of them... too much angst can just do weird stuff to a gal...  
  
So whenever I get a random splurge of creativity, I usually completely ignore it unless it's a really quick fic idea... which it usually is about five times out of ever hundred...  
  
So I wrote the original for this in a random fit of inspiration after a Navi Love/Hate debate, where people (they're all over at http://zeldafans.storiesfrom.us... yay, shameless plug!!) started mentioning stupid things that Navi says... and thus, for Vovlagia, you get the line "HEY! WOW!!! A BIG RED DRAGON!!! HOW COOL!!!"...  
  
And from that line, I spurted this all out in a total of forty minutes... (don't ask me how, I blame it on the whole "1:45 am" thing, myself...) and edited out all of the sucky parts and fixed a few grammar mistakes, and here it is again...  
  
Though considering it's 2:03 am right now, I'm probably going to end up hating half of the edits in the morning anyways...  
  
Now just read the thing!  
  
~~~  
  
The Door opened, the Giant Key crumbling as the lock twisted open. Suddenly, Link was blasted back by the force of a strong wind, air heated in its closed chamber for thousands of years escaping while it had the long-awaited chance. Even through his Goron Tunic, Link still felt the air between his shirt and skin heat to an unbearable temperature.  
  
Link pulled out his red potion, taking a quick sip to try and quench whatever flames were coarsing up and down his body. Waving his cap in his face in a desperate attempt to create a healing wind, Link forgot that Navi, the damn pesk, was still asleep in it. Which is quite a thing to say, considering Navi's record of helping the hero in tight situations. Either dead asleep or jumping around like a perky five-year-old... well, as much as fairys can jump, that is...   
  
Though when Navi *did* sleep, it was truly a welcome relief... well, except for that race with Dampe... You think the fairy could have gone through the same situation as him, but NOOOOOOOOOO.... Link unconsciously rubbing the burn marks he still had on his shoulder as it began to seize up a bit from all of the effort he was putting into waving his cap... riiiiiiggghhhtt... waving his cap...  
  
"HEY!! WHA-WHA-WHA-WHA-WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!" Navi continued shouting, trying to fly out of the hat's opening as it was flung around in the air by a now-smirking Link.  
  
"HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! SER-ERI-RIO-IOU-OUS-USL-LY, LINK!!! WHAT'S GOING ON!?!?!" He only started shaking harder at this, snickering softly for a few moments before finally getting sick of the fairy's trilling voice.  
  
Frowning as he flipped his hat inside-out, Link let the now-dizzy Navi fly drunkenly in the air next to his head... who knows, maybe in this state she could give him some more useful information than "Hey! Maybe that switch over there on the floor is a switch!!!! TRY STEPPING ON IT, LINK!!!" and "Whoa!!! LINK, YOU GOT BIG!!!! LIKE, I MEAN, *REALLY* BIG!!!!"  
  
"Come on, Navi," He waved his hand in the air dismissively, "We have to beat Volvagia and help Darunia..."  
  
"Hey, Link! Wait a second!" Navi chimed eagerly, still wobbling a bit. "You know, since Saria was the Sage of the Forest and in the Forest Temple before, maybe Darunia's the Sage of Fire!?!?!?! AND MAYBE HE'LL GIVE US ANOTHER SHINY MEDALLION!!!!"  
  
"You know what, Navi..." Link's voice was brimming was sarcasm, as usual. "That was brilliant. I never would have been able to make that deduction myself..."  
  
"WOW, THANKS LINK!!!" The fairy landed on the Hylian's shoulder, and leaned ever-so-slightly towards his neck "...YOU KNOW, I HAVE TO BE HONEST -" Yep, those were definately his ears that just exploded - "THERE WERE TIMES BEFORE THAT I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T REALLY APPRECIATING MY ADVICE, WHAT WITH ALL OF THOSE TIMES YOU TOLD ME TO SHUT UP AND THAT TIME I THOUGHT YOU WERE TRYING TO DROWN ME IN LAKE HYLIA AFTER WE GOT THAT NOTE FROM RUTO... AND THEN THE ONE TIME WITH THAT ROOM FULL OF MAD CUCKOOS - "  
  
Link cut Navi off "You're welcome, Navi... now why don't you go take a tour of the temple or go check up on how all the Gorons are doing back in Goron City... after all, you missed most of the grand tour during your nap..."  
  
Navi shook herself like a bell, and even gave off a little tinkling noise. "You know I can't do that, Link!!! I mean, as much as I would love to, I just can't stand the thought of you fighting a boss without my years of experience and knowledge... sometimes I wonder where you would be without me..."  
  
"You know, Navi, sometimes I do too..."  
  
At this, Link ran through the entrance to the Boss' Chamber. A large wall of stone quickly slammed into place behind him, effectively sealing the goddamn fairy in the chamber outside. Link let out a sigh of relief. Honestly, he'd much rather die in here than have to listen to her friggin yakking all the time, especially when he needed to concentrate on this battle.  
  
"Whoa, y'know," A little chime floated through the air, "They really should make stone doors that don't slam so loudly." - Link glared inside his tunic, hoping against hope that what he knew was there wasn't - "Somebody could lose an ear that way..."  
  
"Erm... hi, Navi..." He peekd down into his tunic and saw the source of his dismay. "Ready to fight Volvagia?"  
  
Compelled to duty, Navi quickly flew out of the Goron Tunic and floated in the air next to Link's right ear. Lucky Link, not as though he could hear out of that ear anymore anyways...  
  
"BOY AM I EVER!!!"  
  
"Ok, then, Navi..." Link quickly observed the scenery, noting the spot where it was fairly obvious the dragon would try to "surprised" him from. "I want you to fly over... there..." Link pointed to a large platform with multiple holes in it, giving a lovely display of the rather burn-y lava below. 'Great,' Link winced, catching sight of his shoulder out of the corner of his eye.  
  
"OO... RED-DY!!! OK! FLY OVER THERE, GOT IT!!!"  
  
"Good. Then..." Link lowered the volume of his voice in a most secretive manner. "Then... I want you to fly around, trying to draw Volvagia out of the hole he's in..."  
  
"... So... wait a minute... you want me to be the bait to draw Volvagia out of the lava?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"You want to use... me? As bait?"  
  
"Ermm... yeah..." Link shifted his feet, trying to fake innocent shame and failing miserably at it.  
  
"WOO-HOO!!!" Navi danced around in the air, tinkling and smacking her wings into Link's ear. Of course, Navi didn't seem to notice... "BAIT!!! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE BAIT BEFORE!!!"  
  
"Erm... Yeah, Navi... that's great!!!... You wanna go over there now???"  
  
But of course, Navi was STILL ignoring him, having put her joy at being bait into the form of the first lyrics for Saria's Song.  
  
"Yeah, Navi... I'm glad to make you so happy... I love you too... now get over there!!!!"  
  
"BAIT-BAIT-BAIT!!! BAIT-BAIT-BAIT!!!"  
  
"Yes, Navi, you're bait... now get over there!!!"  
  
"BAIT-*BAIT*-*BAIT*-!*BAIT*!-*!*BAIT*!*-BAIT-BAIT-BAIT-BAIT-BAIT!!!!"  
  
"Oh, screw this." Link pulled out his bow and arrow, ripped a length of his tunic off at the bottom, quickly tied Navi to the arrow, propped it, and let it fly. The arrow landed in the exact center of the platform, to the left of one of the more active lava pits.  
  
"Damn, so close..." Link muttered to himself before pulling out his Megaton Hammer in anticipation of the enemy which couldn't stay under the lava with all of that racket going on above the surface...  
  
Of course, by now, Navi had gotten bored with her "Bait Song Version 1.0" and instead was now singing it to the rapid crescendo of the "Bolero of Fire"...  
  
"BAITBAITBAITBAITBAITBAITBAITBAIT!!!!"  
  
"BAITBAITBAITBAITBAITBAITBAITBAIT!!!!"  
  
Couldn't be long now...  
  
"BAIT*BAIT*BAIT*BAIT*BAIT*BAIT*BAIT*BAIT!!!!"  
  
"BAIT*BAIT*BAIT*BAIT*BAIT*BAIT*BAIT*BAIT!!!!"  
  
..."HEY, LINK!?!?! HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT WILL BE BEFORE THIS IS OVER!?!?! I'M GETTING KINDA HUNGRY OVER HERE!!!"  
  
Link smiled, fantasizing. "Oh, not too long now..."  
  
"OH, OKIE-DOKIE THEN!!!"...  
  
a moment's silence, then.  
  
"BAIT!*!BAIT!*!BAIT!*!BAIT!*!BAIT!*!BAIT!*!BAIT!*!BAIT!!!!"  
  
"BAIT*!*!*BAIT*!*!*BAIT*!*!*BAIT*!*!*BAIT*!*!*BAIT*!*!*BAIT*!*!*BAIT!!!!"  
  
Suddenly, a loud rumbling broke out below the surface, and waves of lava began to course out of the magma pit next to Navi. Part of the arrow was hit by the hot metal and immediately caught on fire and broke off.  
  
"HEY! LINK!!!! I THINK THE BAIT PLAN WORKED!!! BAITBAITBAIT!!! YEAH, HEY LOOK!!! THERE'S DEFINATELY SOMETHING COMING UP OUT OF THIS HOLE!!! ARE YA READ- HEY! WOW!!! A BIG RED DRAGON!!! HOW COOL!!! HEY, LINK!!! ARE YOU GETTING A PICTURE OF THIS THING!?!?!?! OH, WAIT... DO YOU EVEN *HAVE* A CAMERA IN THIS GAME!?!?! WELL, WHATEVER... WHOA - OOO... SCALY... HEY LINK!!! DID YOU KNOW THAT LAVA DRAGONS HAVE SCALES!?!?! CAUSE I NEVER KNEW THAT BEFORE!!! LOOK!!! SEE!!! SCAL---"  
  
And with this, the Subterranean Lava Dragon, Volvagia, swooped down and swallowed Navi in one bite.  
  
Link, and all of the Zelda fans in the world playing at home on their N64s, sat stunned for a moment, staring at their TV screens in disbelief. After a few minutes, during which Volvagia continued to fly into the air and randomly pelt down stones upon a platform empty except for a charred arrow, they all broke out into a collective cheer.  
  
~~~~~  
  
... So... erm... that's it for now...  
  
:::pause:::  
  
... Yeah... 


End file.
